Just sitting here on this Spring day, thinking about life and the people who've come and gone in and out of my life. I'm here with my lovely "sweet pea", Amy. She is my light in life as she gives me hope in this harsh world. She is so new and vibrant and full of hope and life. I feel inspired by her knowledge and capabilities. She is a wonderful daughter and friend.
It is pretty wonderful that we can usually know what the other one is feeling without saying a word. We know when we are each feeling sad inside or "down". We feel the happiness glow from within when each of is deeply excited and happy about something. Sometimes even if it's not what one of us really wants for the other one; we still give each other the freedom to "want" whatever it is that inspires us. She is my angel of life and I just don't know what I'd ever do without her. I found out once for just about 3 months and I hope I never have to feel that way again!
My husband Craig is also a bright and shining spot in my life. He is full of love and life and almost always full of happiness! I hardly ever see him despair over anything in life. He looks at the bright side and brings me up when I'm sometimes feeling "down". He is very intelligent and has a vast knowledge of History and politics and he loves that little "yoda" guy from "Star Wars"! See....he does have a very fun side too! Not all books and work; but much fun and impishness too!
Now my darling, Jessica...my "sunshine girl" as I once called her. I don't know what she is like anymore. I haven't been able to see her since really 2005 pretty much. That does not mean that I have not tried many many many times. That does not mean that I have not thought of her over and over again day after day. I do wonder who she is today? Where she is headed in life? Why won't she love me anymore?
Well, I know that my door is always open for her...for anyone who wants forgiveness and/or to "start over again". I think life was made for "second chances" and everyone deserves a second chance...even if you have it hard pressed in your mind and in your heart that they "wronged you"....EVERYONE deserves another chance...
Today I'm just hanging out with Amy and listening to her talk about PHD programs and schools. She's telling me about one school that has a fireplace in each of the "PHD student rooms"...wow...that's livin!! Oh how I will miss her...but she will only be gone from the house, not from my/our hearts. We will visit and she will visit...and I say "thank God for Skype and face time"!!
I guess 5 yrs isn't sooo long...OK..yes it is. But I won't be sad, I will be happy because my daughter is persuing something she loves and doing something she's always wanted to do! My mother never got to do art like she talked about all the time. She resented that she never persued that dream! I never got to truly become a "teacher of the Deaf" like I dreamed to become. I made alot of "wrong turns" and picked bad people to be with. I guess because I was most comfortable with "bad people who treated me abusively."
Well, right now I am just trying to figure out a "style transition". I know, I know it's just silly.... But really..I've worn my hair the same way for a very long time. I'm wondering if I want to let my "fringe/bangs" grow out or keep them cut? Amy took some pictures of me today...so these are the pictures that I'm going to use for my blog, this blog today.. Just "ME" trying to figure out what "LOOK" or "STYLE" I want to be next??
Thanks for dropping by...I appreciate your following along with me on this journey of life. I will continue to try and post interesting pictures and/or themes but don't forget that this is just my "picture blog" or "fun" blog. My other one at : http://www.younmeandacuppatea.blogspot.com/ is my "real' blog about my journey in this life...since the MVA in 2002. I try to speak of mostly happy times and "fun, good, & happier" things. Every now and again, I do add something somber or "real" that is sad or disappointing going on in my life. I do have a life w/o my oldest daughter, who I love and cherish and miss so much. I do also live a life with chronic pain from a horrible car accident in 2002, many surgeries that followed and then acquiring the most painful, Neurological disease called "RSD/CRPS" or aka "Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome"; that I got in 2007 and it spread and became "full body" in the past 2 yrs or so...